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Posted - Nov 29 2009 :  10:38:35 PM  Show Profile Send f512bbi a Private Message
My Wife of 10 years gave birth to a beautiful little girl in Sept '08. We had been trying for some time and with the help of a lot of prayer and various medical procedures, she was able to get pregnant. The pregnancy was not easy; it culiminated in a pre-eclamptic situation in the 35th week which necessitated an immediate c-section and both mother and child were almost lost. After 3 weeks in the ICU, both were released and made full recoveries.

With all the complications we had with the birth, we decided one child would be enough for us and felt blessed to have such a healthy little girl. We found out this weekend that my Wife is pregnant again; something totally unplanned and quite incredible given how hard it was the first time.

I will cut to the chase and get right to the point - my Wife is so scared to go through what happened the first time that she does not want to go through with this pregnancy. I want to get doctor's opinions first to see if her life would be in any way jeopardized. Beyond that, she does not think she can handle a second child at age 42, etc....I am adamat that I want to understand from doctors what sort of issues we may face with my Wife's health before we make any sort of decison. Either way, she has threatened to abort with or without my consent.

I have to admit I am shocked at her behavior, however I was not the one who almost died the first time and she is clearly upset about that happening again, and she is a Mother this time around which makes the stakes that much higher.

Unless something changes in her mind, she is willing to throw our marriage away as I told her I could not consent to an abortion unless it was life-threatening to her.

Am I being selfish or pigheaded here? I did not want a second child either given what happened to her, but this is unplanned and that makes it different. I know some of the very pro-life folks here will say to have this child regardless of the risks; I can appreciate that setiment, however being through what happened with our first child, I am not willing to have her go through that again.

I am appealing to folks to offer their opinions here. If the doctors say we can safely have this child and she terminates regardless, what should I do? I feel that if she does, it will be very difficult on our marriage since she would have terminated it based on non-life threatening reasons that I would have been willing to overcome with her. Should I just trust how she feels and be supportive either way? I am very confused with my feelings at the moment. Thanks and God bless. Please pray for us.
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